simplifying....

such an easy word to understand, but almost impossible to follow... monks in temples are taught to work towards inner peace, reaching a zen-like state of mind so things would not matter. materials and attachments will not complicate these monks' lives. however, they spend a lifetime of constant meditation to keep that goal in reach, often at times still not perfecting it.

so if these monks have such a hard time keeping things simple, how can we "simplify" our own lives? when do we find the time to just sit and clear our minds? not to think of worries, responsibilities, pleasures, pain, hardship, envy, want... all these human emotions that are a part of what we'd call our "personality" is suppose to be meaningless if we were to simplify our lives in the same way that the monks do. I know for damn sure i cant do it... has anyone else tried?? so i shall ask again.... how do we simplify our own lives?

things have been good and bad lately, but then again, that's always the case. you can never see the good if there were nothing bad. but why is it that the focus is always leaning towards the bad instead of what's good? is it because the society now has created an image of what would be considered a "good life"? money? cars? house? clothes? fame? well shit.... i don't have many of those things.... i have a car, but it doesn't run. i have money, but it's not for me. i have a house to live in, but it's not mine. i have clothes (and i guess this is the only thing that I'm not really complaining about). and fame? hmm..... iono if I'd call it fame, more like infamous.... for the past months since an eye-opener event, I've been doing what i can to "simplify" my life... i gotta say, it's worked out ok in some aspects of my life. i have people who i care about, and people who do care about me. i have a family and they still love me which is lucky. i still have my arms, legs, no retardation of anything (that i know of). and slowly but surely, I'm digging myself out of this rut I'm in. but why cant i help but be envious? why do i still feel sad every so often? jealous of people who's lives should not be used to compare to mine?

*sigh* i have no clue what I'm trying to get at with this entry, nor do i even have an answer for myself.... this dark tunnel seems never ending although i do see the light. i guess you just gotta keep going at it till you reach the light.... but man, I'm tired, I'm exhausted, i wanna call it a day already.... but i guess its like the quote that Jason had at his gym and that's what i shall conclude this entry with:

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall"

-Confucius